South Africa's indigenous dialects - excruciatingly funny (for South Africans)

I am the first to admit that most South Africans have a peculiar usage and pronunciation of English. However the indigenous dialect is very funny.
Here are some examples!...

The recently published New Suth Effrican Deekshunry defines these new weds. Here are some extracts and examples of their usage in the official New Suth Effrican lungwich:

Here are my favourites
AWA - as in "awa dee mands"
BECK - Not the front
BEDS - Doves vultures, white spotted bush chicken (alias guinea fowl)
BEN - to set alight and then you could be bent
COMPOOTA - Intel's marvellous invention
CUDS - you can play poker or rummy with them
DENSE - To move rhythmically to music
DETTY - opposite of clean
GUDDIN - around your house, where you grow "kebbi jees"
JEMS - little bugs that give you the flu
KLEENIX - where nesses weck
PARROT TEKSI - not a mamba of the teksi assoseshen
PEE PULL - die mense powa to da pee pull
PEVMUNT - where you wak nex to the strit, and where some teksi's druv
PHLEGM - the hot part at the end of a candle
REE KWEST - replaced by dee mands
SHEEP - big steel boat
SUFFA RING - as in "the pee pull are suffa ring"
TOKS - negotiations
UMMY - military force
WEANER - As in the weaner takes all
WEKKAS - hey do the wek
WEMS - small crawly creachaars