You know you are in South Africa When....



You know you're in South Africa when/if...WARNING : The following is a
somewhat cynical look at the new South Africa. Fervent patriots
beware...

- The bank checks your great grandparents' credit record before
granting you a credit card.


- The bank issues you a credit card with a limit that you can't even buy
a plane ticket with.


- Your cheque takes 14 days to clear.


- You see these intestine-stuffed-with-meat packs on the shelves of
supermarkets commonly known as Borewors. And when you take them out of
the pack, they're so long that it can be laid along the Great Wall of
China. Or you see people using it to tow their cars.


- You see it says non-South African Burger in some of ID books. (Just in
case you don't know Afrikaans, Nie SA Burger = Non SA Citizen).


- People talk about robots when they really mean traffic lights.


- The telephone company of South Africa overcharges you without you
realising it.


- You dial a toll-free number and nobody answers the phone.


- There's only one person aboard a double-decker bus during peak hours,
namely the bus driver himself.


- You find out there's nothing to watch on TV or it's broadcasting in 11
different official languages.


- When people interpret the STOP sign as a YIELD sign and a YIELD sign
as something totally non-existent.


- You see a traffic circle even though the road is only 3 metres wide.


- There's kingklip on every restaurant menu.


- The waiter snatches your plate the instant your knife and fork are
parallel.


- The guard dogs rush you at the gate, wagging their tails and waiting
to be petted.


- A mini bus taxi passes you, just to stop right in front of you.


- When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.


- You don't stop at a red rob.... traffic light, in case somebody
hijacks your car.


- You buy something that was damaged in the shop, and they won't refund
you.


- Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.


- You have to prove you don't need a loan to get one.


- A shop clerk makes you feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by
letting you buy from their shop.


- You save up for months to buy a video machine for someone to steal.


- You pay 3 times the value for the above mentioned video machine.


- Your insurance is higher than the repayments on your car.


- You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.